There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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