Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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