oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
