Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
