just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
