so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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