Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
