We're facebook friends in real life
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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