question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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