remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
