I hate your face
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
