all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
