i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
