she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
