i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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