You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
