Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
