This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
