brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
