Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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