i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
