I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize