My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
