It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
