Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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