Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
