He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They have beer where we have blood.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
