i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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