there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
