So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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