i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize