If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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