Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
