john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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