I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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