the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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