I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
