Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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