I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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