Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
should my penis look like a turkey
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can you bring me the toilet please
Randomize
