My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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