The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Are we still banned from the library?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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