you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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