my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do vagina's smell?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
should my penis look like a turkey
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
