Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
