Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
