she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
