Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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