If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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