dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
