just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
