jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
