Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes