you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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