I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
