I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
