you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
