do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
